


The Introspection of Two Luckless Losers

by Permony



Category: Hypnosis Mic, Hypnosis Microphone
Genre: Café, Friendship, Gen, Owls, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 07:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13519230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Permony/pseuds/Permony
Summary: A small, intrusive thought wormed its way into Yamada Jiro's head one day. Seeking answers, he ends up in a place he didn't expect at all.Warning: Cursing and a mild innuendo near the end.Also PLEASE read the author's notes at the end!!





	The Introspection of Two Luckless Losers

Seldom did a profound thought bloom in Yamada Jiro's mind. Seeds of inspiration fought in vain against the space overwhelmed by Jiro idol: Ichiro. However, an unexpected question started to rear its head. A doubt. As he lazed on his bed, arms folded behind his head, he tried to suppress it. It was easier said than done. As he struggled to force the thought back into the recesses of his brain, it escaped his lips.  
"Why am I so lonely?"  
"Do I really need to answer that," Replied Saburo, his condescending younger brother. He sighed in disappointment as he closed his book. Turning to face Jiro wearing a haughty smirk, he continued: "I think it's completely obvious, but alas. I suppose the most self-evident of conclusions are lost on the ignorant and unloved." Jiro gritted his teeth and mentally asked the heavens why he had to be to be stuck with Ikebukuro's smuggest shit-eater. After fully absorbing the biting words, he shot up from his bed and stomped towards his brother menacingly. Grabbing a fistful of Saburo's collar Jiro yanked his brother dangerously close, nearly headbutting him in the process. With a malignant tone, he growled:  
"Ain't nobody speakin' to you, brat." Saburo's eyes flared up with growing rage, a menacing snarl forming as he snapped back at him.  
"Only the clueless would be hung up on useless questions that waste everyone's time." Jiro used every fiber of his being to prevent himself from knocking Saburo into the next Battle Season. Luckily Jiro relented and merely tossed Saburo back, the latter's head just missing the headboard.  
"Don't know why the hell I'm wastin' my time with you. I'm headin' out," Jiro declared as he turned heel towards the door. Saburo, still furious, merely turned onto his stomach and huffed. As Jiro passed through their tiny flat, he remembered that Ichiro wouldn't be home until later due to a high-paying client. It was then that he realized that he hadn't really spent time with Ichiro at all lately, and it pained him. Was he becoming needy? That earlier question once again filled his head. Refusing to succumb, he hastily slipped on his sneakers and shoved off to quell it for good.

His final destination was not what he had intended at all. Yet here he was, amidst beings even further removed from him than Saburo was.  
**Owls.**  
The posh white walls, fancy lattice, and verdant flora contrasted too well against Jiro's street style. Yet here he was, paying 1400 yen, to get a drink and spend an hour with them.

After waiting quite a while, he was let in. The owls stood atop various perches and mini stools, receiving pets and coos from all who passed them. Jiro meandered a little, until he spotted a small mottled owl in the corner with the nameplate "Kokona" under her. Jiro slowly approached her and stooped low to meet her eye level.  
"Hey there," He greeted her, lightly petting her with a finger. She immediately turned away and he sighed. "Even girl owls won't give me the time of day." As he got up to walk away from her, he noticed that Kokona was walking along the perch with him. She was watching him. He smiled and went to pet her again, being rewarded with her eyes blissfully closed in approval. It was during that moment that the ugly question rose again. Jiro hated the timing, but thought that may he could ease himself by talking to the owl. Maybe he'd feel a little more free. "I got a question for you," He asked Kokona, who immediately opened her eyes to stare at him. The sudden response made him jolt back a bit. "Uh--I--UH." His stammering caused Kokona to become upset, and his nipped at his fingers impatiently. She demanded more pets. "Okay, so, do you think I'm lonely? Or is it weird for me to feel that way?" Saying it out loud filled him with nervousness. Possibilities he fought so hard to keep down were haunting him again. Was he being a burden to Ichiro? Could he ever come close to catching up to Saburo, a true genius? Is he doomed to these thoughts, because he has no friends? Kokona once again became angry and nipped his fingers, effectively rousing him from his stupor. "OW! Hey don't bite."  
"Is she giving you any trouble, Sir," asked one of the staff members. "Is she biting you?"  
"Nah, it's all good," Lied Jiro. He felt responsible for her actions, as he kept losing focus. "We're good here. She's a good girl." He continued to pet her, with his index finger reaching a spot behind her neck that she particularly loved. As the staff member left to check on other customers, Jiro pulled something out of his jacket pocket and showed Kokona. The hypnosis microphone. "See this," He lowered his voice to a whisper. He knew owning the mic made him a target, but Ichiro instructed him to have it on him in case of emergencies. "This is a hypnosis mic. It messes up your brain with words. I'm about to duke it out against other people for turf and bragging rights. It's pretty scary but I gotta represent our home, y'know?" Kokona leaned toward to nip at the mic. Jiro quickly drew it back. "Hey, don't do that! You might die! This ain't no bird toy!" He actually felt concern for Kokona. He felt a connection and continued to explain himself. "With all this stuff happening, I feel like I can't burden Nii-chan with it. He's already dealin' with so much ever since we lost our folks." Sadness began to tinge his words. "As much as I hate him, Saburo's still my baby bro. He keeps puttin' up a front and actin' tough but I think it's hurtin' him too. Y'know, the gravity of it all." Before he could continue, Kokona had once again lean forward, this time grabbing his hat with her mouth. "OI--aww," He cooed. How could he stay mad? "I need a pic of this." As he raised his phone to take the shot, a tawny owl pushed its way into frame as the shutter clicked. "Oi! Wait your t--" Before he could finish scolding the owl, it moved away along the perch from where it had came. It bit the coat of someone familiar, and dragged them back with it. Jiro's eyes widened. "DICE?"  
"HEY STOP--oh. Buster Bro's Jiro, eh?" Fling Posse's gambler nodded to him, then turned back to the owl grabbing his jacket. "CUT THAT OUT!"  
"Why are you here," asked Jiro. He didn't expect one of Shibuya's infamous high rollers to be chilling with some owls, especially at 1400 yen an hour.  
"Fifi and I go way back, okay--I SAID STOP. I'm talkin'. Don't be rude, I notice you." Dice turned back to Fifi, petting her gently to appease her. Kokona dropped Jiro's hat back into his hands.  
"Oh, wow. Nice." Jiro chuckled.  
"Hey, don't fuckin' judge me, alright? You're here too." Dice noticed that Jiro had moved to quickly cover Kokona's "ears."  
"Don't curse in front of Kokona! She's a pure lady bird and my friend."  
"I guess you don't got a lot of friends, do you?" A cocky smirk slowly formed on Dice's lips.  
"No." Jiro replied flatly. A wave of awkwardness washed between the two of them.  
"Oh uh," Dice's rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry." Fifi once again became needy, and yanked on his jacket to get Dice's attention. "STOP!" Jiro couldn't help but laugh.  
"Yo just keep petting her, she likes you."  
"Yeah, you win Fifi," Dice finally acquiesced, giving her the pets she desired. Fifi looked almost triumphant as her posture became straighter, relishing in her victory. "Oh by the way, were you sayin' somethin' to me?" Jiro tensed up. He hadn't realized that Dice heard his ramblings. Yet he figured that since the fellow rapper seemed to be in a good mood, perhaps he could help him.  
"I feel lonely, is that weird? Or maybe not lonely more like, greedy? Attention-seekin'," He shakily replied. Preparing to be heavily judged, he was taken by surprised when Dice answered seriously:  
"Not really. That's, uh, what did Gentaro call it," Dice paused to think. Fifi was having none of it, and resorted to pulling on his hairpiece. "OW! HEY, ugh. Anyway it's called the human condition or somethin' like that." The pets resumed, and once more Fifi was pleased. Kokona lightly tapped Jiro's hand with her head, also wanting more rubs.  
"Oh, okay," Jiro agreed. To call it a condition was odd to him, but it was something to muse over. "So what should I do about it?"  
"Gamble."  
"Huh?"  
"Look, kid," Dice turned to him staring intensely into his eyes, which was hard to take seriously considering a giant happy owl was rubbing against his hand. "We're about to face off in a battle to the death and a lot of us ain't gonna survive. You gotta get your baggage out now before it's too late." The answer stirred something inside Jiro's brain. "Tell 'em. Your brothers. Better to roll the dice and lose than regret not rollin' at all, right?"  
"Yeah," Jiro nodded. He hadn't been taking risks at all. He realized his brother's weren't mind-readers. Even if Saburo was smart, how was he supposed to know how he felt if they never actually talked? "Thanks, but why're you agreein' to help me? Aren't you an enemy?"  
"We ain't fightin' yet," He replied, turning back to Fifi who had fallen asleep. His hand was finally free. "You're right though. We are enemies. But I won't get a kick if I don't fight you at your best."  
"Is that why you joined Fling Posse? For the kick?"  
"Yeah, but," Dice looked down at the floor, his blue bangs casting shade over his eyes. "Maybe part of me is just tryna find somethin' I won't lose even if I gamble it all away. A constant." Jiro froze. The synapses began to fire rapidly, sending small ripples of pain through his head. Was this his fear too?  
"A constant..."  
**[IF I LOSE, WHAT IS LEFT? WILL EVERYTHING LEAVE ME?]**  
Dice hadn't noticed, and continued to speak as he looked affectionately at the sleeping Fifi.  
"Owls are hunters, y'know. They gotta think quick and strike quick to live. I think I'm like that too."  
"Uh-huh," Slowly, Jiro agreed. His brain still hazy. He thought about the gambles his family had won. And lost. As he drifted away in thought, he felt nibbling to his fingers once more.  
"I think she's mad, haha," Dice pointed out. Kokona angrily flapped her wings at Jiro to get him to focus. "Better get back to her before time's up." Jiro smiled at him, then at Kokona.  
"Yeah. Hey, thanks for the help."  
"S'whatever. Jus' don't mention it to anyone else. I don't want people to talk." Dice's reply was lost on Jiro.  
"Talk? What do you mean?"  
"I don't want Fifi to dump me!" He shouted. Said owl's eyes flung open and immediately struck Dice's hands. "OW!"  
"HAHA, that's what you get. Don't wake a queen from her sleep!"

A few weeks later, Jiro and Saburo arrive home from school, mid-bicker as usual. Ichiro came to the front door and greeted them with a warm hug. The weekend had arrived, and everyone was thankful for it.  
"Since it's Friday, you guys up for hangin' out?" He asked.  
"I'm okay with it, Ichi-nii," Saburo replied, side-eying Jiro. "Even if I have to put up with him."  
"S'okay, brat," Jiro replied. "I gotta meet my girl anyway, so let's reschedule, Nii-san!" The brothers looked at him, wide-eyed.

**"WHAT?!"**

At Ramuda's apartment, he and Gentaro were equally perplexed when Dice offered a similar response.  
"Yeah, I gotta hurry," He told them. "If I keep her waitin' she'll get pissed."  
"A girl," said a stunned Gentaro. "Do you actually like each other, or is she...hired?" Dice paused for a moment.  
"Well, I mean, I can pay for her to sit on me," The rest of Fling Posse couldn't scrape up a reply. "Anyway I'm outta here." Soon enough, he met up with Jiro at the cafe, who was already busy petting Kokona. "Yo, sorry I'm late."  
"S'fine. Mean's I got extra time. Fifi--" Before he could reply properly, loud flapping was heard from behind him. Dice sighed and went over. "Yeah."  
"Alright, Fifi, here I am."  
"Oh, by the way, I gotta tell you about somethin' that happened today," Jiro began to casually speak of school events with Dice. Even though the time for battle drew closer, the cafe was awash with calm. The tiny seeds that had once been smothered by Jiro's doubts, started to bloom, expanding their limits with every word.

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on the real-life location of Ikefukuro Cafe! Here are some things to note about this fic:  
> -Kokona and Fifi are not actual owls at this cafe. If there are real owls with these names, it is purely by coincidence.  
> -The owls' temperaments were also exaggerated to aid with the comical tone. The staff at the cafe have trained their owls well, and most of them are pure sweethearts who wouldn't hurt anyone! (Though from what I've seen they do fight with each other sometimes...)  
> -Also yes Kokona's name is a nod to i7.  
> -Dice you can't call him "kid" if you're only three years older than him...  
> -I might make this a series? I got the idea after it was confirmed that Buster Bros didn't have parents, and how that affected the brothers differently. The HypMic universe is dangerous, and sometimes I forget that. I'd like to write fics about how each character examines their own lives together with animals! If you like this idea please let me know.


End file.
